I bought my first pomegranates of the season. I love pomegranates. Originating perhaps in the area of Iran, there are over 500 cultivars (cultivated varieties) of pomegranate. They’re divinely delicious and high in antioxidants and cagens, which purport to help in avoidance and recovery of disease.
But as most of you probably would agree, they’re not a friendly, easy fruit, wearing armor, resisting penetration, causing an utter mess. I decided, after massacring the first one–slicing it in half, splattering the arial juice all over my walls, staining my garments, picking laboriously through membrane to get to the morsels, then finally impatiently conceding and biting straight into it–that my approach desperately needed fine tuning. Don’t misunderstand me. There’s something incredibly satisfying and pleasurable in biting without regard. But if you’re interested in a less invasive, tidier, and what some might call, respectful way of enjoying your pomegranate, I found an option for you.
SCORE and SPANK.
By the way, ignore that water method, which involves slicing the pomegrante in half and dunking it in water. Avoid slicing all the way through in general. Which means, ignore those cheap plastic Mickey Mouse contraptions being sold–they sacrifice too much of the juice. They’re a waste of money.
So…Score and Spank.
By combining the two methods suggested on these two youtube videos I found, “The Correct Way to Eat a Pomegranate” and “The Best Pomegranate Technique (No Water Method) Quick Trick,” in just a few minutes, you end up with the most amount of unbroken seeds, are able to avoid the disrespectful massacring of the fruit, and get to have a little bit of fun doing it. All you need is a knife and a spanking tool (wooden spoon or any spoon works well).
Follow the woman’s scoring technique and once most of the pomegranates have been dislodged, use the man’s spanking technique (ignore his scoring technique unless you want to spend an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to separate the two halves). And there you have it!
My loved ones accuse me of being controlling, which I am admittedly, sometimes. It’s usually because no one’s shown me a suitable alternative to going about whatever it is I’m doing. But I’m not stubborn and unwilling to listen or to invest a little time seeking out alternatives. There’s a difference. My way’s better. Your method’s wrong. That kind of talk doesn’t work with me. But if you show me what you got, make your case. I’ll always listen.