Extreme Tea & The Brazier Kills the Pig Vegetable

January 11, 2014 — Leave a comment

I changed up my morning coffee ritual with some tea. Hunger pangs and a growling stomach followed. I started thinking of what I wanted to eat today. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. I’m not a traditional breakfast eater. Sure, I try to eat oatmeal when I can and have a giant cylinder of it. But I’ve been known to eat sushi or leftover Ethiopian food for breakfast, and recently, kimchi omelettes. My cravings for kimchi have been at an all time high since I’ve been trying to get through the 50 episodes of You’re the Best, Lee Soon Shin, a Kdrama on DramaFever. It’s seeped into my subconscious somehow and influenced me enough that a few days ago after work I ran to KTown and H Mart where I purchased a giant tub of my favorite whole cabbage kimchi, purple rice, shishito peppers, red lettuce…

Kimchi

I’m not in the mood for kimchi this morning, though. And admittedly, I’m feeling lazy to cook, and with the rain and wind, have no desire to step outside the warmth of my apartment, so instead I’m reading DramaFever’s newsfeed. They always have something fun to read about food in Asia. This time is no exception. This post is hilarious–a Beijing restaurant’s mistranslations:

Beijingmenu

Steamed cake stir-fried with pork = “Old vinegar hibernation of insects head.”

Pork, tofu and preserved Chinese cabbage stew = “The brazier kills the pig vegetable.”

Iron wok stir-fried spicy squid = “Iron saucepan unwearied effort however squid.”

Sliced eggplant stir-fried with sauce and minced vegetables = “Cell secretary digs up the eggplant.”

Black jelly skin in gravy = “Fishes the juice to pull the skin back.”

That post only offered a moment’s distraction. Interesting how the brain works. I felt compelled to google “tea” + “restaurants” and eventually, I landed at Ranker’s: The 8 Most Dangerous Restaurants in the World, the top one being The Huashan Teahouse in China, where wood planks, toe-holes and harnesses are involved in experiencing what better be the most amazing cup of tea.

thehuashanteahouseinchi

Goodness. I’m exhausted just looking at this image. And now, the winds outside are even more ferocious and my stomach’s ROARING.

I think I might just exchange the tea for a robust mug of black coffee, cook some oatmeal, and turn on WNYC. I missed Car Talk and Click and Clack, but oh! I can still catch the tail end of Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! Gotta go. It’s tough to find smart interesting shows that crack you up consistently. Happy Saturday!

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